The Humor of Battlefield 4... Well, I Find These Funny

Here’s a somewhat humorous and true look at what happens in Battlefield 4… all the damned time.

1. Get Hunted by Vehicles! Where Do I Sign Up? - When you play infantry, tanks and helicopters will find you and hunt you down relentlessly. I’ve had a helicopter hunt me and follow me for a good ten minutes, while engineers on my team just run on by and don’t even attempt to take the helicopter out. Helicopters on my team don’t even try to take it out. They are all busy hunting their own infantry for easy kills. I've engaged a tank in a game of "Benny Hill runabout" on Silk Road where we just continued to circle a boulder.
2. I Need a Medic! – I often play as the assault class, which is really the combat medic. I do my best to support my team by tossing down med-kits and reviving fallen comrades. However, for every fifty med-kits and/or revives I’m dishing out, it seems I receive one revive. And in the 70+ hours of the game I’ve played, I’ve only received a handful of med-kits. This is no problem when I’m playing assault class since I can toss down my own, but this number never rises even when I’m playing the other classes.
3. Everyone is Mute – I have a headset hooked up to the PS4, naturally. The few times I tried to speak with a squad, people don’t say anything. They get nervous (eek, people!) and unplug their headset… and that’s fine. Sometimes, I don’t want to speak either, but I imagine working in an actual squad would be beneficial.
4. It’s All So Quiet –When it’s quiet… too quiet… some shit’s about to go down and you are about to be killed. As soon as I say, hey, where is everyone, an LAV or attack boat shoots me in my face.
5. Someone is Behind You… Always – On the same note as #4, just keep in mind that someone is always behind you and ready to shoot you or stab you. Because those mudda luvas are always there.
6. Dear Dude in the Bush... Da Fuq? – Quite often, I see someone standing in a bush and doing a terrible job of hiding… or something. I don’t know what they are doing. I don’t know if they are suffering from digital PTSD or taking a leak or what, but I just wanted to let them know that we can see them. The only place I haven't seen one of these stealthy ninja cats is on Operation Locker, but you know the bush baby sumbitch is on the lookout for a bush in there.
7. I Die… Stupidly – Okay, I can complain about other problems, but it’s only fair that I complain about myself as well. I have some of the stupidest deaths ever, mostly when I’m feeling confident. Lesson to self – never feel confident. Also, don't hide in a bush.

Still, I can’t quit the game. I love it too much, even when vehicles stalk me. And those times when you are standing beside your (mute) teammates and everyone is just doing everything right, even without communication, is glorious.

Anyway, if you are on PS4 and want to add me as a friend, that’s cool. Maybe we can even work as a squad… although I warn you that I am not good, not good at all.

PSN Name:

DMorgan10B

We’ll get into my name choice in another post.